Posted by
Marked in Pgh on Thursday, June 04, 2009 6:29:17 PM
In Britain, they want to stop serving lamb, because sheep burp. Yes, burp. Cows putter, sheep belch and politicians pontificate; all of which contribute to Global Warming. Ah, yes, it's silly time, once again, in the world of the Enviro Nazis; for the flatulent clowns of the Left. After all, it's summer time in Washington, D.C. ( a mere coincidence, but I'll run with it).
Wrapped up in misguided dogmas, the left doesn't see the solution to their problems is right there in Great Britain, served up with mint sauce and perhaps a slice of cow tongue or veal. Serving more meals of lamb and cattle would solve two of their three problems. With fewer sheep and cattle staying alive, as we quickly slaughter them wholesale, there would be fewer to spend their time burping and ripping up the essence of shorn grass, hay and corn. If only politicians and their stooge reporters would take the lead in this effort by clamming up.
But you say the animal rights crowd might object. What to do? A solution might be to line up all the cattle and sheep in the world across the greatest north/south expanse of Asia in alternating orientation. The cattle could face east, the sheep west. Their aggregate efforts in this self-propelled wind sail would speed up the rotation of the Earth and thus shorten daylight and solve Global Warming. (Naturally, it would also shorten the nights, but politicians and journalists wouldn't notice, as they spin about in futility on the side).
I say this all, with tongue tucked fully in cheek, for fear the government might remove it and serve it up on their alter of political correctness. This is because Obama's Energy Secretary wants to decree all roofs in America to be painted white, along with all our highways. To what end? Why, to fight Global Warming, by reflecting light back into outer space. If only they could reflect light into the mental voids of Federal bureaucrats.
Should we then find politically correct examples of ancient white roads? For example, the Hopewell Indians built great lone burial mounds and large cermonial centers of conical mounds with earthen enclosures in geometrical designs two thousand years ago in Ohio. According to Archaeology Magazine, the Hopewell connected some sites, like Newark and High Bluff, with broad, perfectly straight roads that ran on for miles called white roads.
Were these white roads just like the ones suggested by the underpowered Energy Secretary? Not really. The roads were kept cleared for special ceremonial processions with Neolithic axes and periodic burning of constant regrowth. The Hopewells also gathered fire wood and burned out undergrowth in the forests to make the slaughter of animals called hunting easier. Unfortunately, the cutting of trees and burning of brush would cause global warming and the white roads were for religious puposes, symbolized purity and were not P.C.. They were part of the stewardship by which the Hopewells maintained their own manmade envriornment in their neolithic civilization. So the Hopewells were just as politically incorrect as we are and thus abominations against nature just like modern Americans.
Obama, other politicians and reporters will have to find other examples to back up the Energy Secretary's suggestion or put their own spin on it. There's always my wind sail.